


Married at first sight

by ElephantLoveMedley



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2019-08-25 15:49:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElephantLoveMedley/pseuds/ElephantLoveMedley
Summary: Even is a hopeless romantic that just wants to love someone and Isak is a lonely boy that just wants to be loved. Their friends and a TV show will bring them together.





	1. Chapter 1

Isak never thought he would have found himself in this kind of situation. He just wasn't that kind of person: not able to stand the attention of too many eyes on him, not so open with his feelings, jealous of his story and so on. But he had changed a lot during the last years and he had underestimated his friends.  
He felt like he finally was in a good place, in comparison to the dark years of his teenage life and the rough beginning he had in university. He now felt like a proper adult, he had graduated, he had a job, a good relationship with his parents and a stable social life.  
Too stable, if you asked Jonas. Or Eskild. Or Magnus.  
Everyone thought that he needed someone “to share his achievements with” (Eva's words) and “to cuddle at night instead of going for crazy runs while the rest of the world is sleeping” (Eskild's very dramatic opinion). Everyone except for Noora, who found herself in a constantly on and off relationship on her side and took every opportunity to preach about how a woman, or a man in Isak's case, didn't need a man to feel complete or happy.  
The problem was: Isak didn't feel happy. He felt accomplished, of course, he had achieved everything he expected to achieve, he had a nice apartment of his own and amazing friends for when he felt lonely, but at this point in his life, in every single scenario he had imagined for himself at night, he thought he would have had a partner. He thought he would have never felt lonely again.  
It was hard to admit it, to the world and to himself especially, as he was used to be independent already from a young age, but he finally did it (while, admittedly, he was not that sober): he was not one of those people who didn't need a partner to feel whole, hell, he maybe even wanted to have children at some point, watch them grow and spread just a bit of love in this sad grey world. He thought he had been lucky in his misfortune, as he happened to mumble this half truth to Eva and Sana and not to Jonas or, worst, Eskild; but he was wrong. Really, really wrong.  
Eva had told Jonas and Jonas had spoken to Mahdi and Magnus to arrange a night out or something, but Magnus had told Vilde and Vilde, well, she let her mind run free.  
That's how Isak found himself in a changing room, hidden by heavy velvety curtains and having a staring contest with his reflection in the most expensive suit he had ever worn. He ever owned, because he had decided,he was going to buy it and he was going to wear it at his wedding in two weeks.  
It was a nice suit, he had to admit. At the beginning he had refused to listen to Magnus' opinion: “It's your wedding day, not your funeral. You can't wear black!”, but he had to rethink all his positions' on formal attire. Bordeaux suited him, he liked red, why not? Moreover, he had to admit, that the reactions of his friends sedated every little doubt he still had.  
When he walked out of the changing room Mahdi let out a low whistle, Eskild lifted his champagne glass, Magnus exploded in a long “wow” and Jonas stayed quiet, smiled and stood up to hug Isak. When he finally decided to step away his eyes were shining, but he said nothing.  
“I hope you'll wear a bow tie with it, uh?” Mahdi broke the silence.  
“I so hope that too and I'm here acting as the designated fashion guru, so, yeah, listen to him.”  
“Yeah, listen to Eskild. Now let's just hope that your future husband won't show up in red.”  
“How to kill the mood, Mags.” Jonas murmured more to Isak than to Magnus.  
“Well, I think he'll wear blue. Everyone looks sharp in blue. And this is the opinion of a professional.” said Eskild crossing his legs.

//

“Do you think grey suits me?”  
“Nah, man. The blue one was the right one and you know it.” Elias, confident as always.  
“Everyone knows it, Even.” Adam underlined his statement by slumping down the couch and covering his face with his hands.  
“Not everyone.” Even gazed at the armchair in the corner.  
“Mutta is colorblind, Even! How could he know?” well, Mikael had a point.  
“Hey, I may be colorblind, but my fashion sense is unmatched in this group, so...” and he leaned back in his chair, leaving the statement hanging with all of Even's doubts.  
He looked in the mirror and met Yousef's eyes, dark and kind.  
“Listen, Even.” Mikael came up behind him and put his hands on his shoulders. “You look great, I almost cried when you came out of the room, this kind of blue highlights the color of your eyes, but, most importantly, you're kind and charming as fuck. You don't need an amazing suit to impress, you just need yourself.”   
Even felt like crying.  
“Besides the grey one sucks.”   
“Adaaam. Why do you have to be like that?” Elias slapped him right in the middle of his chest.  
He loved them. Even really really loved them and was forever grateful for their support. When he had come up with this idea he was scared of their reactions, that they might have thought that it was a sign for an episode or a last resort kind of decision.   
But Even had thought about it a lot. He had analyzed every detail and had arrived to the conclusion that this was more of his style, better than meeting someone on an app or something. This was more direct. Moreover, how romantic would it be to have the opportunity to tell everyone that you met the love of your life at your own wedding?   
And he was sure he was going to meet the one, the person he'll happily share the rest of his life with.  
Mikael had started watching the show with him, snorted at the beginning, pulled some faces, but in the end he came to appreciate the reasons behind the project. Even had explained that he liked the fact of already knowing, from the first day, the level of commitment that a person is willing to reach: it takes a lot of courage to marry a stranger, but it takes even more to decide to be open and vulnerable with another person right from the start and share every moment of such a big step. To trust someone with so many little details and quirks and secrets of their personal life and to decide to put so much effort in a relationship (or, in a person) without knowing the ground on which it was founded, the past it had to go through to come out that way.  
That was one of the things Even liked the most of the program. The idea of getting to know a person in real time, at the pace of everyday life, and, at the same time, discovering tiny bits of their past and how they ended up being the special soul that they are now.  
Even was a romantic, but he was also practical , straight up and determined to make things work. To try and change a person's life for the better, through the little things, the daily routine. He just wanted to be the special someone their person runs to when they have good news, the one they share pictures of dogs with, the one they call when they see the rainbow drawn up in the sky just to make sure he doesn't miss it.  
He just wanted someone to be reminded to throughout the day and smile. To hear a song and having a waterfall of good memories wash over him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really really big thank you to everyone who supported, commented or read the first chapter. I really hope you enjoy the story and I promise that I'll try to post regurarly (my goal is to have at least one chapter ready every week).  
> Thanks for your time and let me know if there's something wrong, misspelled or odd in there.  
> Love <3

2

Isak and Jonas were standing alone on the balcony, beer in hand, watching the sky.  
“You deserve it.” the words were heavy, but they were true for Jonas and Isak didn't need them to be spoken out loud to know his best friend supported him. “You deserve someone who just wants to love and to be loved in return. Honestly and deeply like you.”  
Isak looked at him and smiled. Sometimes he thought that Jonas knew him better than he did himself. Sometimes he thought that Jonas had known what Isak needed long before Isak managed to wrap his head around it.  
“And don't think that the guy won't receive the 'best friend speech' just because you're married. You should prepare him.”  
“You should prepare, too. For when I tell Eva that you said out loud that I am your best friend.”  
“Oh, she'll handle it, we're engaged after all.” He took a sip of his beer. “And she loves Noora more, anyway.”  
They both erupted in laughter and Isak couldn't help but think that he made the right decision: with all the people in the world, Jonas was the only one he needed to be standing beside him during the big day.  
Jonas and Eskild.  
They were the perfect personifications of Isak's life, the source for some of Isak best traits, the ones he had had to learn and cultivate.  
“Do you think I should write him something?” Isak looked worried “Like, before we meet. Before the ceremony.”  
Jonas smiled so bright and proud that the words barely managed to escape his mouth: “Yes, sure. I mean, I think that if I was in his position I would really enjoy to have a piece of your mind before actually meeting you. Plus, you always look grumpy at first sight, it'll be better to start with an advantage.”  
Isak rolled his eyes at that, but Jonas' attempt at joking did nothing for his nerves.  
“What do I write?”  
“Whatever you like.”  
“Ok, but what's to be expected in situations like this? What's the protocol?”  
“I don't know, I really don't know.” Jonas shook his head, watching the last pedestrians of the night running around on the pavement several meters below them. “Just write what you would like to hear.”  
And with that he left.  
Isak followed him inside, still not ready to face his thoughts in the open. It was everything a little more scary under the night sky when he felt like he couldn't reach the answers, no matter how many times he tried.  
He sat at the table of the kollektivet and tried to enjoy the special meal that Eskild had prepared for the “first of his last nights as a single”, but he felt his stomach shrinking.  
He decided to stand up and find a pen, a blue one. He sat back at the table and scribbled on his napkin:  
Don't worry  
You're not alone  
I'm anxious, too.  
Let's do this!  
Sana glanced at the paper from beside him and got lost in her thoughts for a bit, then she blinked her eyes and smiled fondly at Isak.  
The chatter began again without difficulties, all in a smooth motion of personalities and years spent together. When Eva passed the salad to Isak, he took it gladly.  
He was still scared, but he was not alone.

//

II

Even felt nervous. Like really, really nervous. So nervous that not even Pretty Woman was able to calm him down.  
He opted for 10 Things I hate about you, then.  
At the end of the movie he sat down and stared at the list he had scribbled on a napkin while he was having dinner, he wished they were all love songs, but a couple of them were just him: the soundtrack of his life. He knew for a fact that he couldn't have Nas' New York state of mind playing in the background instead of the usual wedding march, but a guy could dream. He wanted something effective, something that could immediately show who he was. Something that could make the introductions for him. But even then, he would have to explain why he chose it and wait all the ceremony before it could happen, and what if it got stuck in his partner's head and they didn't even like the song?  
No, no that was a risk he wasn't going to take.  
He sighed and stood up, walked to the balcony and watched the moon. It was a perfect half, she didn't even give him the satisfaction of a dramatic setting. Yeah, he had always thought about the moon as a she, a gentle lady in the sky that didn't have to do her job, but decided to take it anyway. She didn't even burn of her own light, but she decided to do her best to brighten Even's lonely nights.  
He took a cigarette and lit it, watched as the ash flew down to the streets and wondered how many cigarettes it would take to create a mountain of ash from the pavement to his balcony.  
He looked at the moon, engaged in a staring contest. He felt nostalgic, but he couldn't pinpoint about what exactly. He longed for a feeling, whatever feeling.  
“You never avert your gaze, uh?”  
The moon didn't reply.  
“We'll see who'll laugh in two weeks, when you're all dark and no one can see you.” He smiled.  
Even felt connected to the moon and her phases. There were at least three songs on his napkin that mentioned her.  
He liked the fact that the moon and the sea were connected, that there was an invisible force that traveled between the two, like a string that pulled at the see whenever the moon got too far. He liked how she had to take a break after a lot of working and he liked even more that even if she took a break every month she was still able to get up and be bright the next night. She could seem weak, but she was reliable.  
She was resilient.  
He took his phone out and snapped a picture, even if he knew that he couldn't capture what he was seeing. He thought that the moon was like a concert: you can take as many pictures and videos as you like, but you'll never manage to trap the same feelings. The same light.  
He shrugged.  
It was more for the memory than for the scenery.  
He put out the cigarette and went back inside.  
He rolled down the shutters, closed the door and turned off all the lights. He brushed his teeth and smiled at the mirror, excited.  
He went to bed, but his heart was too full of hope to let him fall asleep right away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for all the kind words! You're all so kind and make me happy in a time when I mostly feel like I'm lost.  
> Love you all :)   
> <3

3

“Hello?”  
“Hi, Jonas. How do you explain to your boss that the days off that you asked for are for your wedding with an unknown person without it sounding like you're crazy or you're lying?”   
The line fell silent.  
“Jonas?”  
“Uh, I don't know?” and Isak could imagine him scratching his chin.  
“Was that a question?”  
“No, no. I mean. Can't you give another reason?”  
“Yes, I can, but then when the show airs I'll look like an idiot, no?”  
“Right. Tell the truth, then.”  
“Tell the truth, then.” Isak mocked him, pulling a face. “Thanks, really helpful.”  
“Like always.” Isak could hear his best friend's smile. “I'll have to hang up now, before class starts. You know, I have to be an example for the youth, the minds of tomorrow.”  
“Yes, bye Jonas. I doubt they'll learn something from you.”  
“Don't be mean.”  
“I'm not mean.”  
“Good.”  
“Bye.”  
“Bye!”   
Isak walked down the street and reached the hospital, went straight to the locker room and wondered how he was spending so much time in changing rooms recently. He readied himself and stepped right into his busy day.  
He loved the days in the ER, they were his favourite: the rush, the excitement, the caffeine. He lived for it. Against all odds he also liked having to meet a lot of different people, talk to them, know their stories. And maybe that was exactly why it came easy to him, because he didn't have to do small talk: he jumped right into a story and went with it, no past, no pressure. Just the present and the person. Small truths and small victories.  
Sometimes the burden was huge, obviously. A lot of times he had to watch a person come in, who'll never get to get out. He had to see tears and hear shouts.   
He used to count them, the people who couldn't make it. He used to take it as a personal failure, but Sana had thought him that that's just the world. It's life and life is inevitably concatenated with death. Without death life would be pointless, meaningless. There was something calming in that thought and he clung to it, even if sometimes it seemed dark.  
“Isak!”  
“Hi, Bjorn.” He stopped his feet and his thoughts right in front of his boss' office.  
“Can you come in for a minute so that we can discuss your days off?”  
“Of course, of course.” He dragged his feet on the linoleum, closed the door and sat down in front of Bjorn.  
“So, you asked for two weeks of vacation starting next week, right?”  
“Yes.”  
“And you need it for?” Bjorn moved his hand on the mouse of his computer, ready to print the paper that confirmed Isak's days off.  
“For my wedding.” Bjorn widened his eyes. “And my honeymoon.” Bjorn raised his eyebrows and the hand that held the mouse.  
“And” he coughed. “And who's the lucky girl?”  
And then there was that: Isak had never actually come out to his boss. Or to the hospital in general. He was open with his sexuality, but only Sana and his closest colleagues knew that he was gay, not certainly Bjorn, his boss, the man he barely talked too and who wore a Christian cross around his neck.  
“Uh, yes he is a him, actually.” Isak stared at the floor, readying himself for whatever reaction the news might cause in his boss.  
“Oh, my God!” Bjorn looked embarrassed and a bit guilty. “I'm so sorry, Isak. I didn't know. I shouldn't have assumed. Oh, my God.” He scrambled for his words.  
For a man of faith Isak thought he was throwing God's name around a lot, but Isak wasn't in such a position to judge other people's faith anyway.  
“Don't worry, Bjorn. It happens a lot.” He managed a small smile.  
“It shouldn't, Isak!” Bjorn covered his mouth with his hand. “My God, it shouldn't. I'm so sorry, I just want to let you know that you're welcome here and that there are no prejudices in this hospital and that if you ever need something or if someone gives you shit for whatever reason, you just have to let me know and I'll take care of it. Okay?”  
“Okay.” Bjorn looked so satisfied with himself that Isak felt kind of proud for him.  
He swung a bit on his chair, a pen grazing his lips, when he suddenly shook himself out of his stupor: “You can go now, Isak. Have a good day.” He smiled.  
Isak stood up awkwardly. “Yeah, thanks Bjorn, but I'll need my holiday paper before you end your shift.”  
“Oh, right, sorry. I'll print it now and then you can go.” He launched himself on the mouse and sent the document to the printer. Isak waited for it to be ready and took it, securing it in his pocket.  
He smiled and waved at Bjorn: “Thank you, Bjorn. See you soon.”  
“Oh, thanks to you, Isak.” He stood up. “And congratulations to you and...”  
The phrase was pronounced like a question.  
Isak grabbed the doorknob, took the two large steps that separated him from the hallway and closed the door behind himself. He didn't reply.  
One can only test their lucky star once.

III

Even was walking down the street that lead to his office, the song for the new videoclip he was filming was stuck in his head, but he didn't mind. He had never been picky with music. He liked everything: from 70s love songs to modern pop-music to the classics of rock and hip-hop.  
He was really proud of his songs collection on his phone. He was a little less proud of the fact that his phone had to constantly remind him that its storage was full, but that was a problem for future-Even.  
He rounded the corner and was faced with a tall building buzzing with people and chatter. He didn't particularly like filming in a studio, he enjoyed himself better when he was directing outside, when the light of the sun changed the mood of the scenes, when the rain set the pace of the shooting. But it was a good thing that this video clip required a green screen and no delay.  
Today was his last day of work, then he'll have all the time to focus on his wedding. Well, actually just three days before the big day, but he had to go with it.  
He entered the studio, hung his denim jacket, put his blue cap on and clapped his hands: “Good morning, everybody. How are you doing?”  
A loud chatter raised from the various cubicles of the room. Even couldn't make out half of the words, but he smiled nonetheless.  
“Good. How about we wrap this up quickly and the we can all go home to prepare for my wedding?”  
Mikael walked behind him, camera in hand: “We have to prepare for your wedding?”   
Even turned back and hugged him: “Well, you'll certainly have to, best man.” He patted him on the shoulder. “And, please, go cut your hair, I can't even see your face.” Even practically begged.  
“It's a good thing you can't see my face, otherwise you'd fall in love with the wrong person.” He winked. Even scoffed.  
He envied Mikael for his ability to never take criticism personally and for his talent to turn even the meanest comment in a bright possibility to prove people wrong. And also because he could wink.   
Even couldn't wink, but so did Rihanna. He personally thought it was a way for the universe to balance everything out: good people couldn't wink and hot people were a mess. He didn't make the rules.  
“I've already prepared my speech.” Mikael put a hand on his chest, eyes lost on the ceiling.  
“You won't make a speech.”  
“Of course I'll make a speech.” He said walking backwards, camera on his shoulder. “I even have pictures.”  
“Mikael!” Even cried out, dragging his best friend's name, pleading.  
Mikael winked. Again.   
Even flipped him off, adjusted his cap and started working. He was determined to get the shooting done and go home.  
He didn't go home after work. Mikael had dragged him to their favourite Greek restaurant and had offered to pay. And Even wasn't a material person, but he never declined the opportunity to eat free food. Free food just tasted better than the one you had to pay for, it was science.  
“What if they're ugly?”  
“They won't be ugly.”  
“Yes, but what if they are?”  
Even put down his gyros, cleaned his hands and looked at Mikael: “We've already had this conversation and I have already told you that I don't fall in love with a person's exterior appearance, but with their heart and their mind. The whole of them. I'm pansexual, Mikael, and if I thought that a set of pretty eyes or gorgeous hair was enough to make me fall in love, I would have gone to a bar, instead of joining a fucking TV show.”  
“I know, I know, don't get mad at me.” Mikael brushed their shoulders together, but he still wasn't looking at Even. “I mean, it's just that physical appearance is such a big part of how you perceive a person that it can't be ignored.” He finally looked at Even.  
“I know, but you don't have to ignore it, you just have to get over it, focus on the good things. I think you can learn to love everything, if it deserves love, and there are a very few things that don't deserve love.” He took a sip of his cola. “I think that whatever deserves respect, can be loved and you know it. Moreover I wouldn't have joined this show, if I thought that love didn't require some effort to make it work, don't you think?”  
Mikael hummed an answer and they sat in silence for a bit, eating and watching through the windows of the restaurant as people walked by and the world kept spinning.   
“I think you're right.” Even smiled so wide and proud, he couldn't believe that his best friend had finally accepted his point of view, the one they had fought over since he first presented his idea to Mikael. But then Mikael spoke again. “Besides I don't think they'll cast an ugly person for a TV show, they still need an audience. No?”  
“You're the worst.”   
“I'm buying you food!”  
“You're a bit of the worst.”  
“Better.”  
They smiled at each other and started to talk about the new music video Mikael had to film.   
Even was still wearing his blue cap, he could still control the situation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I'm really sorry that it took me so long to update, but I've been really busy this week.  
> I hope you enjoy and are ready for the wedding!  
> Lots of love <3

4

“Wake up, Isak!”  
“Get up, baby Jesus!”  
Isak opened his eyes and it wasn't like it was the first time that night. He had been too nervous to fall asleep and the fact that this wasn't his bed just added to it.  
So, yeah, he was so not ready to face the force of Magnus' and Eskild's combined happiness. He decided to wait two more minutes, hiding his eyes under the covers, just to gather his thoughts.  
It was not a good plan: the door banged open and Magnus and Eskild jumped on his bed, one on each side of him. Behind them came Jonas, holding a cup of coffee. He loved Jonas. Right after him came Mahdi with a dish full of waffles an two forks in hand. He loved Mahdi even more.  
“So, what's up? Last night as a single? In your parents' house? Feedback!”  
“You're not my parent Eskild.” He whined, trying to wiggle out of Magnus' hug.  
“I know. I would have raised you less grumpy and whiny.”  
“I don't think that parenting has something to do with his personality. He's just awesome like this, you can't change him.” Jonas smiled at him, passing the cup of black coffee along.  
“Like my old dog. Like, we tried to train him, but he would always piss on my bed. He did it so many times that it stopped being funny.”  
“Thanks, Mags, for comparing me to an old dog on the day of my wedding.”  
“We'll toast to it at your reception.” Mahdi smiled, pushing the dish of waffles right in front of Isak, but keeping a fork for himself.  
“No one will say something at my wedding.” He threatened them, waving his fork. Especially in Jonas' direction.  
Jonas lifted his hands in surrender. Isak narrowed his eyes.  
He didn't believed him.  
“However” Eskild clapped his hands once “All the suits are already in my car, we just need to take the envelope you wrote for him and then we can go to the hotel and prepare there for the wedding.”  
“Ok... thanks!” Isak looked every single one of his friends. A bit mesmerized by their smiles and a bit shocked by all the effort they had put in his unconventional wedding just to make him feel less stressed and surrounded by love.  
“Stop staring at us like that. You can come in your smelly clothes if you want to.” Eskild looked at him from head to toe, a bit judgy, a bit proud.  
“Or...” Mahdi got up from the bed, taking something from outside the door. “You could wear something more appropriate.”  
At that, all his friends ran away from the bed and stopped in the middle of the room, in line, facing him.  
Magnus yelled, counting down from 4 to 1.  
They all unzipped their sweaters revealing bright yellow letters on black t-shirts: “We're with the groom (the grumpy one)”.  
Isak groaned and covered his face with both hands. He should have suspected it, as Eskild never wears a sweater when he's at home.  
“Wait, there's more.” Magnus yelled. Again.  
They all turned around, back facing Isak's unimpressed face. The t-shirts spelled Isak's name in big yellow letter, each letter on one of his friends' shoulders.  
Mahdi opened the bag and tossed a t-shirt to Isak, yellow with his name spelled in black on the front. Each letter of his name combining to one of his friends', like a giant crossword puzzle in the middle of his chest. On the back the words “I won't forget my friends now that I've found my soulmate” were accompanied by a picture of the four of them together.  
He smiled, in spite of everything and got rid of his pajamas' t-shirt.  
His friends cheered so loud, that he had to hide his smile under the yellow fabric for a bit more. 

IV 

“What did you do?” Elias managed to shout between the outburst of laughter of his friends.  
“I sent a dozen of red roses to their hotel room.” Even felt like a little child.  
“Oh, Even. I hope she doesn't believe you're a middle aged man. Who does that?”  
“Everyone does that Adam. It's normal. It's romance.” Yousef ran to his rescue. He was the only one in a stable relationship and Even trusted him.  
“Yeah, Adam. It's romance.” Mikael pointed out from in front of the mirror, while he was trying to tie his tie. “And, moreover, why are you assuming that they are a girl?”  
“Exactly! I so hope they're a dude. It would be a little easier to try and make friends, I never know what to talk about with girls.” said Mutta.  
“You always have trouble talking with anyone, Mutta.” muttered Even.  
“Of course, but if they are a boy I can, like, jump in in one of your conversations and start talking about whatever topic you're talking about without third-wheeling or looking like a creep.”  
“I'm sorry to break it to you, but if you join a conversation that Even is having with the boy, if he is a boy, you will be third-wheeling.” Mikael said shrugging on his jacket. “That's the whole point of the marriage.”  
Mutta looked lost in his thoughts. Even looked too.  
“What's up, Ev?” Elias put a hand on his shoulder.  
“What if they are a boy and they don't like flowers?” He was starting to panic.  
“Oh, come on, everyone loves flowers. Don't worry. Besides that's what you gift at a wedding.”  
Even didn't believe him. He felt like shit for not thinking about the possibility. Of course he had thought about the chance of his partner being a boy, he was pansexual and had listed no preferences in the application for the show, but now, when he looked back at all the daydreaming he had done in the past few weeks he couldn't help but notice that he had never imagined his soon-to-be partner, but every detail in the decorations or the cake or whatever, was without a doubt feminine. In his dreams he had always used to oppose his figure to a smaller one, a prettier one.  
He felt so guilty. He started to panic, he felt so full of prejudice and wrong opinions that he couldn't handle it.  
He stood up and started pacing the room, his friends' words were just white noise in the background, making his head buzz and his heart beat faster and harder with every passing minute.  
He couldn't breath.  
Mikael came beside him, a hand covering his neck and loosening his tie, turning his head to make him look in his eyes. Even lost himself in that deep and warm brown, letting his body relax and his mind react to it.  
A sharp knock on the door made him jump out of his skin. Mikael smiled at him, squeezed his shoulder and opened the door: “Goodmorning!” a loud joyful voice came from the door. “I'm Sara, one of the assistants for the production and I have a letter for Even.”  
She handed a little yellow envelope to Mikael and smiled. Mikael thanked her and closed the door.  
All the boys went quiet and Mikael passed the letter to Even. He opened it, inside there was only a small piece of blue paper, the date written neatly in the top right corner of the paper.  
Even smiled when he read the words:  
Don't worry  
You're not alone  
I'm anxious, too.  
Let's do this!  
He looked at his friends, at Mikael reading from behind his shoulders. He didn't who he was going to meet in a few minutes, but he was sure they were a great person.  
He smiled again, took a few deep breaths and hid the envelope in the pocket of his blue jacket, right under the white rose that his mother picked for him.  
He patted the pocket just above his heart, stood up and walked out of the room.  
His friends followed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
> We're finally at the wedding! I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know if you liked their first meeting.  
> I apologize if there are some typos or errors, but I'm really tired right now and just decided to finish and post this to avoid thinking about Skam Italia.  
> I hope this will cheer you up as much as it did for me!   
> <3

5

Isak was buzzing. Literally buzzing. His fingers were tingling and he felt like he could melt out of his skin just for the excitement.  
He couldn't remember ever experiencing a feeling so strong and yet so unidentifiable. He couldn't pin point it and, if he couldn't give a name to it, he couldn't explain it. He couldn't measure it.  
He felt a hand coming up his spine, resting just beneath his shoulder blade. He looked down at his mother and smiled.  
She looked beautiful in her dress, a mixture of green and light blue fabric: “Just like your soul” she had said, brushing his son's curls to let the light brighten the colours of his eyes.  
She had always told him that the eyes were the windows of the soul.   
He had always thought that it was a way to tell him that he could grow and understand a lot of the world by looking at it carefully, but she thought at it backwards. His mom believed that a person could unveil all his emotions and intentions with just one gaze, that you could lock eyes with someone and immediately recognize that they were a good person, a sad one or a hopeful one.   
She always told Isak that he wore his heart on his eyes, instead of on his sleeve. That's why she felt so scared during his teenage years, when his eyes were often indifferent, icey, unfocused or, worst, glazed over. She couldn't stand it to see him like that, she had nightmares of his eyes being all grey. Grey and white, with no colour in sight.  
That's why it took so much to the both of them to finally overcome their respective fears, to repair the bridges they had burnt, to forgive.   
Isak never came back home, he had created one on his own, but he visited. He learned a lot about his mother in the months when they had to begin again, from the start. They got to know each other anew. It's unbelievable how much people can hide from each other while living in the same house. It was like they had shared the same space, but they had never actually shared their lives.  
They were back on track now: mother and son. Each one with their qualities, their assigned spot. He had a good mother, one that had never given up on life and on him and he was grateful.  
He looked at her again, smiled at the silver earrings that she was wearing, the ones he had gifted her for her birthday when he was barely 12. Little crescent moons hanging by her ears, swinging with every step. They were crescents: the first step, a new beginning, a silver smile encouraging him to take over his life, but, at the same time, to go with the flow, to follow the rhythm that time decides to give him. To dance even if he doesn't know his steps.   
To sing even if he doesn't know the words.  
Like a concert.  
He took his mother's small, cold hands in his sweaty ones and smiled once more to give her courage, to feel brave. She squeezed his hand: “I'm very proud of you and I'm here to support you however this will go.”  
He nodded, he couldn't bring himself to say something more. He felt like he had to try his voice, to make sure it was still there. He didn't feel like he had a voice right now.  
“Well,” his mother interrupted his thoughts “we could have had at least coordinated our outfits. Look at us!” she gestured between the both of them.  
And he loved her. He loved her sense of humor, he loved how funny she was, even if not a lot of people knew it. He loved how she was always quietly present and he hated how he had not always been perceptive. He loved how she talked: a lot, without necessarily wait for an answer. She said just what she thought was good at the moment.   
She rarely said something deeply clever or something intellectual, but she always managed to improve the silence. She was a highly intelligent and spiritual person and Isak envied her at times. He envied her because these were things that she couldn't teach him, that he couldn't learn, that he just had to admire. Just like a painting, like a light touched the right angles of a old house, making it beautiful once again, or like a the smile that only few people managed to smile: the ones that could brighten a day, the ones that spread on other people's faces.  
“Come on, Isak! Look at us. We look like a broken traffic light!”  
He laughed and he realized that his voice was still there, he didn't have to test it.  
He straightened his shoulders, squeezed his mother's hand and looked at her in the eyes once again. He nodded and she nodded right back: they were on a mission.  
She took the first step and they started walking to the white open door together.  
Music started playing.

V

Even heard the music first, then the commotion. When he lifted his gaze he met the eyes of a curly haired boy that was standing right in front of him, but on a lower step. Just like Mikael.   
He looked as the boy turned his head to the door, he turned too.   
The first thing he saw was a swirl of blue and green just behind the door, then his heart stopped beating.  
Every heartbeat on his chest decided to migrate to his ears, to block his hearing. His mouth fell open and his hands held onto each other. It was like all his senses stopped working to let him focus on the view.  
He thanked every god above for the capacity to discern and appreciate beauty. He had never been more grateful for the gift of subjectivity, for the ability to recognize what makes him feel well, what makes him feel alive.  
For the first time in his life he thought that whoever invented humans was a genius. Pain, sadness, depression didn't matter, because he still had happiness, gratefulness and pleasure.  
“Pleasure” he thought. That was the key to every secret of the universe, the key to a happy life, to fulfillment. Hell, maybe it was also the key to the cure of cancer!  
He didn't know, but he had never felt more clarity in his entire life.  
He stopped thanking the gods and started thanking the producers of the program. He was grateful for every decision in his life that had brought him there, in front of the most beautiful creature on the planet.  
He was tall, blond, with fine thin lips and the most perfect nose.  
He was a him and Even already loved him.  
He couldn't help but smile. He wanted to look at Mikael, at the curly boy, at the front rows of the room, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from him. Or, better, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He probably could have managed it, but he didn't want to miss a bit of the divine apparition that was currently walking towards him, hand in hand with an elegant yet fragile woman. Her eyes were shining.  
He stopped in front of Even.  
Nobody spoke for a bit. The idea of disrupting the silence hadn't even touched Even's mind, his blood was too loud in his ears.   
He looked deeply in the pair of eyes in front of him and he could see that the boy was struggling to speak. Even shook himself out of his stupor and decided to speak first, to make the situation easier for him.  
“Halla.”  
“Hei.” The gorgeous man in front of him accompanied the word with a tiny movement of his fingers, like he was restraining himself from waving or like he didn't trust himself to raise his hands.   
He looked like a pianist.  
He sounded like music.  
“I'm Even.” He extended his hand.  
The boy met him halfway, grabbing his hand with a sweaty one. Blushing: “I'm Isak.”  
“Isak.” Even repeated his name out loud once, but he kept replaying it over in his head. The ceremony was nothing but a blur under Isak's name, that kept returning like a mantra, like a prayer occupying his mind.  
It was like he could only focus on Isak: on his name, on his hands that he got to hold at one point, on his smile that seemed permanent and on his eyes that were not only green, but they were blue.  
He had never seen such beautiful eyes.  
He had never heard sweeter words than the whispered “I do” in a room half full of strangers. In a room entirely full of love.  
The mantra stopped when he whispered the words back and then was silence. It was smiles. It was light.  
And then a kiss.  
The words came back in full force in his brain, but they were not Isak's name, they were “I do”. A promise.  
Isak grabbed his hand and music started playing, as they took their first step.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, again!  
> Thanks for the kind comments, I want you to know that I read every one of them and I really appreciate them. You are all so kind and sweet and always manage to make my day better.  
> I'm really glad you enjoy the story and share your happiness with me. I really love writing it and, seeing that other people love it too, makes my heart swell with joy!  
> Love <3

6

Isak dared to look at Even only when they were finally out of the room, ready to follow their families and friends to the reception hall. He looked at him and he couldn't help but smile. He actually couldn't remember how to not smile. He felt like he had been smiling for eternity, like this was his new life, like he was reborn and he had been smiling ever since. A lifetime of happiness.  
He smiled wider at the thought. Even smiled back.  
“I'm really glad it's you.” Even patted the pocket of his blue jacket (yes, Eskild had a point about blue jackets) and took a piece of paper from it. Isak recognized the paper, covered in his sharp handwriting, and thought about how unfit his way of writing was to the moment. He wished he could write in a fuller and more delicate way, just to express to Even how much he already cared and not just leave his message to shaky letters and fragile connections.  
“I'm glad it's you, too. I loved the roses.”  
Even drew a deep breath and then laughed: “Thank, god!”  
Isak frowned, but laughed along too: “Why?” He loved how Even's eyes fell shut when he laughed.  
“Because my friends made me doubt my choice just minutes before we met. They said it was a present only an old person would give and that if you were a boy there was the possibility you didn't like flowers.”  
“Everyone likes flowers!” Then Isak processed Even's words once again: “If I was a boy?” He asked, a bit confused, a bit uncertain.  
Even smiled: “Yes. You see, I didn't know who I was going to meet and I didn't know their gender, too.”  
Isak's mouth fell open. He had never thought about the possibility of his partner not being gay: “So, you're bisexual?”  
“Nope. I am pansexual, I like whatever I like and I love whatever I love.” He shrugged, with his hand still in Isak's one.  
Isak looked down at their joined hands and asked: “And do you like me?”  
Even moved their hands, inviting Isak to lift his gaze, to look him in the eyes: “I really like you. I liked you before I met you.” Isak was grateful that Even had managed to make him lift his gaze, because now he was lost in a deep blue sea of honesty and fondness and the mere thought of missing the possibility made him shiver. “I liked you since I first read your words.”  
Isak smiled, he couldn't help but smile today: “I liked you since a saw you were wearing blue.”  
Even raised his eyebrows: “What? Is it your favourite colour?”  
“No, no.” Isak laughed. Yeah, he couldn't help that too. “It's that a friend of mine had kind of predicted that the boy I was going to marry, would have been dressed in blue. So when I saw you I took it as a sign.”  
“Do you believe in fate?” Even wiggled his eyebrows, making Isak smile.  
“No, but sometimes I need a kind of confirmation.”  
“What would you have done if I wasn't dressed in blue?”  
“Oy, color-blinds' dreams! Do you plan to enjoy your wedding or do I have to find another couple to party with?” Isak looked at the boy in amazement, while Even burst out the happiest and loudest laugh ever witnessed by man-kind.  
He tugged his hand and led the way: “Let's go.” Isak followed. “Mutta is colour-blind, that's why he probably hates our outfits.” Now that Isak knew the reason of his laughter he thought it was pretty damn funny.  
“I don't hate your outfits, it's just that I can't see them.”  
“So we're what? Naked to you?” Even asked with a teasing grin.  
“No! Oh my, god, Even. You're always so damn precise, you know what I mean.”  
“I know what you mean.” He clapped him on the back with his free hand.  
“However...” Mutta spun around “Hi, Isak. I'm Mutta, it's a pleasure to meet you and a bigger pleasure to know that my misery days are over, now that you came into our lives and you are on my side, as I'm the first of Even's friends you meet.”  
Isak shook his hand. Never leaving Even's one.  
“I worked hard to get the privilege to be the first one you met.” He kept walking backwards: “Yousef wanted to come here too, but I won. So...” he dragged the “o” and smiled. “Here I am, gaining my privilege and making you one of my alleys against that shitty group of people that I call my friends.”  
Even laughed and Mutta started walking the right way, looking in front of him like he had a purpose. He slowed down and started marching next to Isak, a hand at the back of his neck, and smiled.  
“You see, this whole choice is based on loyalty, on creating a bond.” Even's hand tightened his grip on Isak's one: “You just have to be loyal for this to work.”  
Mutta looked at him, straight in the eyes. Isak didn't lower his gaze, for some reason he felt like he had to stand up, to prove his point, even though he still didn't know what his point was.  
“Are you loyal, Isak?” Mutta smiled, but Isak couldn't muster the force to smile back. This was serious.  
He looked at Mutta the same way he would look at Jonas. The same intensity he would use for his best friend, for a promise to his best friend. He wasn't lying: “I'm very loyal, Mutta. And I don't change my values on a whim, I stand up for what I think is right and for who I think deserves it. And everyone deserves it, unless they prove me wrong.”  
Mutta clapped his hands and smiled a real smile. This time Isak smiled back, at him and then at Even.  
“Good! Let's all get drunk now.”  
And they did get drunk, on alcohol, on love and on words. 

 

VI

“So...” the curly haired guy with a ring on his finger sat next to Even. He clapped his hands and kept them right in front of his mouth, like he was somehow trying to gather his thoughts. Or like a prayer, perhaps. “Time for the best friend speech!”  
Even smiled, lifting his glass of champagne and searching the room for Isak. For a sign.  
“Like, I won't just dive right into it, because you look like a cool guy and don't deserve prejudice.”  
“So nice of you.” Even was positively impressed. He kind of resembled the self-assured and easy-going aura that Mikael had when he was trying to get a point across without hurting anyone. Humble and controlled, but with a hint of arrogance. Ready to give a speech, but not so fond of the idea of it being interrupted. He sounded like he was on a stage and looked like it too, with all his mannerism and dramatic eyes.  
“Thank you, thank you” he waved a hand dismissively. “So I decided to get to know you a bit better, before I judge you.”  
“Oh, ok.” Even started fidgeting with his wedding band.  
“So, we'll start with an easy question: what are your hobbies? Your passions?” He extended a hand. “I'm Jonas, by the way.”  
“Even” He looked at the boy's hand and squeezed it. “So, I'm a big movie lover.” Even's smile grew impossibly wider at the opportunity to talk about his passion and his work.  
“Oh, no.” Even's smile fell. “So, you're like one of those hipsters going around, watching only black and white movies or, worst, silent films?”  
“No, no, no, no.” He started waving his hands reassuringly. “I mean, I like a couple of them and I appreciate the art and ideas behind them, but I'm not a great lover of them. It actually took me a lot to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't, like, “cheating” or that I wasn't a real film-lover, if I didn't like the classics. So, yeah, I like movies, I love them, but if I have to talk about my favourite ones I'll talk mostly about movies from the '80s until now. Like, I'll definitely talk about Romeo+Juliet, Dirty Dancing, Mamma mia!, Titanic and, I don't know, Call me by your name. Hell, I'll even talk about Grease.” He was rambling. “The point is: I'll talk about movies that the majority of the film students out there will define like kitsch, trash and mainstream. But when I win an Oscar, because I'll win an Oscar” he places a hand on his heart “I'll give my speech and I'll say to all the film students out there who feel too clever to enjoy Harry Potter or Star Wars or Pretty Woman, that me winning an Oscar will be the proof that all the “kitsch movies” I like are classics and I, unlike them, have been liking them since before they became mainstream. I'll emphasize the last point.”  
Even was met by a pair of slowly rising eyebrows and a deep laugh. He started laughing too.  
“Oh, my God. That was amazing. Your idea of out-hipstering the hipsters is a masterpiece of his own.”  
“Thanks” Even said with a smug expression growing on his face.  
“So, what's the last movie you saw?”  
“Yesterday I watched My Own Private Idaho. There's one of my favourite characters in that movie. He is so in love and gives one of the most raw speeches to declare it, I really like him. Also he is narcoleptic and is just trying to live his life despite it. He is so brave and open with the world. The fact that he sleeps everywhere for as much as he wants is such not a big deal in the movie that it makes you think about finding the right person and curl up in bed for eternity, damn the world.”  
“Never watch it with Isak, then.”  
“Why?”  
“Oh, you see, he just has so many troubles trying to sleep. Sometimes entire weeks pass by and he never sleeps.”  
“Well, because sleep is the cousin of death.”  
Jonas threw his hands in his hair: “Tell me that was a Nas reference.”  
Even smiled: “It was a Nas reference.”  
“I should have had the best friend speech with Isak, then, not you. He only listens to N.W.A and rock and Eminem, like. I'll tell him that you're now my best friend.” Jonas stood up, ready to leave.  
“Wait, but the speech?”  
“Oh, you don't need a speech, you're already clever.”  
And with that he was left alone and with another friend on his side.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is still following this story. I hope you're enjoying and I'm sorry I had to update so late, but I was really busy. I'll try to catch up during the holidays.  
> Thanks for all the kudos and commments and happy holidays to everyone!  
> Love <3

7

They struggle to open the door to their room with the magnetic key, but they finally manage to stumble in. Laughing a bit, smiling.  
“I'll have a shower and then you can go to, uh?” Isak waved his hand in the direction of the bathroom. Even nodded, staring at the rose-covered bed.  
When Isak got out of the shower, drying his hair with a towel, he had some difficulties to put all the pieces of the scene laying in front of him together.  
Even was sprawled out like a starfish on the floor, right in front of the bed, still wearing his suit and tie, but his shoes were nowhere to be seen. He smiled at Isak, one of the most beautiful smiles he ever saw.  
The point is, Isak never thought that “falling in love at first sight” was a real thing, but then Isak had never come across a smile like Even's. He never felt like a smile could lit up a room, a world, but he was starting to think that if there was a smile out there that could try, it was Even's.  
He knelt on the floor, just behind Even's head, and whispered: “What are you doing down here?”  
Even lifted his eyebrows, trying to look Isak in the eyes from his upside-down position, and whispered back, his gaze heavy: “The bed was so pretty with all the roses, I didn't want to be the only one who ruined it.”  
Isak had shifted on the floor and laid down beside Even. He didn't know why he did it, while he was still wet from the shower and covered in nothing but a white towel, but he felt like he was magnetized by Even, by his gaze.  
So he laid down, looking in those deep blue eyes that he had managed to dream about even before he met them. Quiet filled the room. Isak's eyes were trapped by the glimmering light blue of Even's eyes.  
Even shifted and Isak's eyes focused on the blue of the suit, on Even's arm, on his hand till it faded out of his vision, stopping on the blooming red of Isak's cheeks.  
His eyes returned to the light. Calm filled the room.  
“Wouldn't it be awesome if we kissed right now?”  
Isak barely nodded.

VII

Even had kissed Isak. He had kissed Isak on the floor, in his best suit and with the brightest of smiles on his lips. He hadn't dared to push things further, even if Isak looked awesome after the shower. Who would have guessed that under that suit were hidden all those muscles. Even felt a bit self-conscious. Only a bit, because he was still a bit tipsy from the wine and because Isak had told him that he liked him.  
He had told him that he liked him and then had stood up, bringing Even's hand with him, and asked him to go take a shower, because he was starting to get cold on the floor. Even had decided in that moment that he would have done everything for Isak. Everything.  
So he had walked into the bathroom, had moved the little piece of paper from the pocket above his heart to a little shelf near the mirror and had folded his clothes. He had taken the happiest shower of his life and now he was standing there, gazing lovingly in the mirror, basking in the warmth of the joyful bubble that had become his life.  
He shook himself, ruffled his hair and opened the window to let the hot air out. He looked at the sky and smiled at the stars. He flipped off the bright full moon hanging above his head.  
Even left the bathroom and almost stumbled over Isak's legs.  
“What are you doing down here?”  
“I'm waiting for you, so that we can ruin the bed together.” And Even would have raised his eyebrows here, he would have made a dirty joke at these words, he would have tried to make the other boy blush, but he didn't. He didn't because he looked at Isak, wearing grey sweatpants and a t-shirt with the names of his friends printed on his chest, and he couldn't help but smile. He felt captured by the various versions of Isak he had already seen: the one in a suit and tie, ready for a red carpet and the cameras of millions of paparazzi; the one in a white shirt, dancing and drinking with his friends and smiling at him from time to time, just to remind himself that this is real; the one in just a towel, sprawled out on the floor, kissing him and wondering where the cameras are; the one with a stupid t-shirt on, with unruly hair from the shower and with a soft, tired smiled, laying there and waiting for Even to share a little moment with him. He liked Isak and he was already in awe of every single version he had met.  
He smiled again, put on a pajama and offered his hand to Isak. Isak took it, as Even knew he would. They moved in front of the bed.  
“Pillow fight or jump on it?” Even smiled.  
Isak squeezed his hand: “Jump on it.”  
“3,2,1...”  
“Jump!”  
They started to jump on the bed, a cascade of petals all around it. Even started to sing “Jump” by Van Halen, Isak tried to follow, but he didn't know the words. They laughed till their lungs started aching and then Even dragged him down to his left side. They faced each other, still smiling: “You jump, I jump. Remember?”  
Isak looked puzzled for a bit and then furrowed his eyebrows: “No..?”  
Even started laughing again, ignoring his aching ribs. Isak started to push him: “Why are you laughing? Even! Stop! Is it something I should know?”  
Even managed to nod between his laughter and Isak put on an annoyed face and rolled his eyes at Even's still on-going laughter. Even loved it. He made a show of wiping away his tears and hold his belly, earning a new eye-roll and a shove by Isak, who then folded his arms on his chest.  
“Isak.” Even sneaked a hand between his husband's folded arms: “Look at me.” Isak moved only his eyes, not completely giving in to Even's request. Even moved further up the bed, meeting him in the middle. “It was fucking Titanic.”  
“Titanic?”  
“Yeah, the movie. The one with Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet.”  
“Yeah, I know what Titanic is, Even. I just don't go around quoting random pieces of it to people.”  
“Random? That's not a 'random' piece. Have you even seen it?”  
Isak blushed: “No. I just saw the piece with the men playing the violin, then a commercial came on and I went to bed.”  
“Oh, my God.” Even laughed again. “I can't believe it. Once I'll have to show it to you. Ok?”  
“I don't know.” Isak dragged the last word, smiling up at Even in a teasing, yet cute, way.  
Even kissed him: “Ok?”  
Isak smiled: “Ok.”  
“What movie?”  
Isak got up: “Oh, God! I'm leaving.” But he was laughing. Even snatched his wrist and made him tumble back on the bed.  
“'The Fault in Our Stars'” Isak looked up at him: “I saw it. And you have to know that it was a book, before it became a movie. The author-”  
“Stop! Stop! Stop!” Even placed a hand on Isak's mouth: “You sound like Sana.”  
Isak frowned: “Sana?”  
“Yes, the girl in yellow with the pretty eyes...”  
“I know who's Sana. I invited her. She's my best bud.”  
“No, I invited her, she's Elias' sister and Yousef's girlfriend.”  
They looked at each other for a while, trying to understand. Then, after a few minutes of silence, Isak whispered in a sleepy voice: “She knew.”  
Even smiled at him and started to card his fingers through his curls. Isak yawned: “Tomorrow I'll call her.”  
Even adjusted the duvet around them, leaving the petals to pool at the end of it. He thought about 'American Beauty' and looked at Isak, hoping to make him roll his eyes again. He was fast asleep, still gripping Even's arm.  
Even smiled and held him back.  
He thought about Jonas and 'My Own Private Idaho'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this one was a little short for Isak's part, but I needed the switch in the POVs. Let me know what you think!  
> <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Happy Holidays to everyone and Merry Christmas to the ones celebrating. I hope everyone had a good year and, if not, that the next one will be better. I wish you all a bright future, you're all amazing and kind.  
> I hope you like this chapter. :)  
> Love <3

8

“Sana!”  
“Isabell! How are you? What was the first night as a married person like?”  
Isak hated that she sounded so honestly interested in his night. She had the best poker-face and, well, poker-voice in the whole world, but she was also one of the truly good people out there and he couldn't keep on his angry face for long around her.  
“Sanasol.” He exhaled, slowly. “You know Even. You knew him before all of this.”  
“Yes.” He could practically see her grin, her happy eyes and black lipstick. He thought about her the day before, dressed in bright colours and smiling at him every time their eyes met. He really liked her and trusted that there were no bad intentions in her actions.  
“Why didn't you tell me?”  
“Well, because I discovered it only three weeks ago, more or less, and I thought that you two could work out really well. Moreover, I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't want you to jump out of it before it even started.” she huffed “I didn't want you to get to know Even with my prejudices in mind, it's not fair to him.”  
“Why? Do you have prejudices about Even?” He teased, sitting on the bed in front of his already closed suitcase.  
“No, not about him, but I could have told him a lot of awful things about you.”  
“No, you wouldn't. You like me after all.” He paused for a moment, smiling. “Best bud.”  
“So that you know, I'm rolling my eyes.”  
They both laughed. It all felt a bit nostalgic to Isak's ears, like this new beginning could mean the end of a lot of things.  
“But, yes, you're my best bud.” He felt a little bit relieved. “And if you don't come back to work well rested, I'll have to kick your ass all the way back to Italy and force you to relax.”  
“Your wish is my command, Sanasol.” He bowed, even though she couldn't see him.  
“It better be, as I am going to have to deal with the infinite questions that the whole hospital will have about you.”  
“Less work for me when I'll come back.” He shrugged.  
“So... you want me to tell them.” She sounded a little bit insecure, as if she was testing the waters.  
“Yes, you can tell them. I trust your opinion on what's appropriate and what's not. You can tell them.”  
“Ok, Isak. But I'll be discreet, you know how I hate it when people go around spreading things that are not theirs.”  
He chuckled: “Yeah, I know.”  
“Good honeymoon, Isak.”  
“Thank you, Sana.”  
“And Even, he is a really good guy, take care of him.”  
“Ok, I will.”  
“Good. See you when you're back.”  
“See you, I'll send you a lot of pictures so that you can envy my fabulous and wealthy life.”  
“I'm really looking forward to it.” He could hear her smile.  
“Bye, Sanasol. Thank you for being there yesterday.”  
“It was a pleasure, Isak. See you soon.”  
When he finished the phone call, he saw two messages waiting for him: one of Jonas, informing him that he was coming over to drive him to the airport, and one of Even.  
He thought about their morning together, how they had woken up in the same bed, with Isak gripping his chest and Even's hand on Isak's one, just above his heart. He thought about how his heart melted when they brushed their teeth together in front of the mirror and, after that, Even had picked up the little note written by Isak and put it in his pocket. He thought about how beautiful Even looked with his hair down, unstyled, his skinny black jeans and a jean jacket, while he was there, wearing a old pair of jeans and yesterday's shirt.  
He thought about how shy Even sounded when he asked if they should exchange phone numbers. He smiled when he remembered that Even had saved his contact under: Isak, my husband <3.  
He looked at his phone with a simple 'Even' at the top of the conversation and read the message.  
Hi, Isak. Elias is driving me to the airport right now, I'll wait for you at the 1st gate. See you!  
He replied quickly, took his suitcase and closed the door to his apartment.  
Hi, Even! I'm on my way. See you soon :)

VII

“Elias, I mean, Italy. Can you believe?”  
“Oh, my God. When is that boy of yours coming? I can't stand you any longer.” He scratched his face and pulled at his skin. Even thought he looked like desperation personified.  
He managed to keep his mouth shout for 30 seconds, then he started rambling again. He had a list about all the places he wanted to visit, all the pictures he wanted to take, all the museums he wanted to get lost in. Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, Venice, Florence, Pompei. He wanted to see everything.  
“And do you know that Michelangelo nearly lost its sight to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?” Elias had even stopped nodding. “He was working day and night and-”  
“Thank, God.” Elias screamed and Even turned around to see what made him so happy.  
He lost his words at the sight, he couldn't speak or move. It was becoming a habit.  
Isak was a vision in his casual clothes. He was a shock. Even hadn't expected that the boy who was wearing a red tux just yesterday could transform into this gorgeous man.  
He was wearing a black sweater and grey sweatpants, a bright red suitcase was trailing behind him and a matching snapback covered his golden hair.  
Even grabbed his own blue cap self consciously, trying to gather his thought, trying to not think about how Isak looked much more better than him and his old jean jacket.  
“Hi, Even!” Jonas half-hugged him and Even was grateful for the distraction. “How are you doing? This one can't stop smiling.” Jonas pointed a finger in Isak direction and Isak rolled his eyes: “Not true.”  
“True.”  
“Yeah, also true for this one.” Now a finger was pointed in his direction. “And, he can't even stop talking, so good luck to the both of you! I hope you don't get lost in Italy.” Elias clapped Even's back and flashed a smile in Isak's direction.  
“If you get to Italy. Isak is not the best at traveling.” Isak scoffed again, muttering another 'not true' under his breath.  
Even smiled: “Do you have in mind any places you'd like to visit?”  
Isak looked at him and shrugged: “I was thinking more about going to the beach and maybe some museums, you know, about Galileo or Da Vinci. Stuff like that.”  
“Galileo?”  
“Yes, he was mainly an astronomer and was condemned by the church for some of his ideas. They didn't kill him, though, like they did with Bruno.”  
Before Even could ask about this other scientist (at least, he thought he was a scientist), Jonas interrupted the conversation: “Oookay.” He put an arm around Isak. “You can continue this conversation on the plane, I'm sure Even will be glad to listen to all your nerdy facts, now go or you'll miss the flight.”  
Jonas ushered both of them to the door gate, bringing their suitcases along. He smiled at Isak and clapped his back: “Be careful, okay? And have fun.”  
Then he turned to Even: “I know yesterday I told you you're a good guy, but I still don't really know you: you have to prove it.” Even nodded. “And, if you're good enough” Jonas eyed Isak for a second “the both of you, I mean. If you're good, you'll be invited to my and Eva's wedding as a couple. Okay?”  
“Okay.” Even nodded and he couldn't stop thinking about how Jonas reminded him of Mikael, of his speeches and the amazing friendship they had. He guessed that there was a Mikael for everyone out there, to make sure that everything went according to plan and to help when it didn't. He was grateful that Isak had his own Mikael.  
He smiled at Jonas, but was interrupted by Elias hugging him. Isak was standing, in front of him, smiling shyly at the ground.  
“You go and have fun, Even. We want the pictures. Do everything I would do.” He then grabbed Even's head in both of his hand and smacked a loud kiss on his forehead. “Now go and be free, you lovebirds.”  
They were once again ushered to the gate. Even took Isak's hand in his and smiled.  
When they turned back to wave at their friends they saw Elias taking a picture and raising the middle finger in Evens's direction with a smile on his face and Jonas looking at the two of them, smiling. Even could have bet his life that he saw tears in his gentles brown eyes.  
He gripped Isak's hand more firmly, he was sure he was holding something precious.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year! I hope you enjoyed the celebrations and I wish you all a good 2019.  
> I hope this new chapter will make the start of this new year a bit sweeter.  
> I wanted to thank everybody that commented on my last chapter and keeps reading the story, really, you are all so sweet and reading your words and impressions makes me really happy. I love that you're enjoying reading the story as much as I'm enjoyng writing it.  
> Lots of love :) <3

9

When they arrived in Italy it was already afternoon. Isak looked gloomily out of the plane's window: no stars to look at during landing, no sunrise to remind him of his new beginning. It was not appropriate and Isak didn't like it. He wondered what kind of monsters decided on their own will to travel in the middle of the day.  
Since he was a child he had been thought that traveling was a science, that the departure was a strategy and that the arrival was the goal. Sightseeing was programmed and studied in every little detail. Every place of interest, every cultural possibility and every magnificent view was booked and boxed on a calendar.  
He knew that they way they were traveling now was not well conceived, he didn't know who had planned and he was sure that, if they had leaved in the early hours of the morning, they could have had spared a few hours to explore the city. But then he looked at the seat next to him, were Even's infinite legs were crammed between their backpacks, were a dark blue cap covered soft golden hair and were the gentlest smile graced the most beautiful lips. Isak stopped thinking about all the time they could have saved and started to appreciate the time he still had.  
He wanted to kiss him, to lift Even's blue tinted lenses and look him in the eyes. He wanted to kiss him till his lips were red, till the plane landed. He wanted to kiss him, because he could. Because Even was now his husband and this was now his life.  
He didn't kiss him. They still hadn't talked about how to handle their relationship in public.  
Even took his hand. Isak thought he was always a step forward.  
He thought about how this boy – this man – in a jean jacket and with blue sunglasses managed it. How this boy who preferred to roam the city instead of visiting it could even find himself right here right now, beside Isak, who had a completely different life, who had made completely different choices and who had completely different beliefs.  
How could a boy so open to feelings share the same journey as Isak, who thought that love for the most part was a job?  
“I think love is a job.”  
“Mh?” Even lifted his sunglasses with his free hand, the other still holding Isak's.  
“I think love is a job. Like you have to work to make it real, to keep it alive. That's why I decided to do this.” He gestured vaguely with the hand that Even was holding.  
“I don't think love is a job, because it can be fun and, of course, it takes away a lot of your free time, but I think that someone's priority tend to change when they fall in love.” He smiled at Isak. “However, I think that love is a choice. Trust me, I believe in love at first sight and in how rapidly a good connection can be created with the right person, but I don't think that someone can fall in love if they haven't already opened their heart to the possibility.” Even squeezed his hand. “See, if I fall in love with you is because months ago I decided that I could do it. That I was capable of loving whoever walked down the aisle. It's because I opened myself to it: to believe that every person is worth of love and that I am too. I chose to believe that there was someone out there who wanted me just as much as I wanted them, even if we didn't know each other.”  
Even stopped to look at Isak and Isak couldn't help but think about how true and genuine these words were. How wiser and more profound it all sounded through Even's words, through his view.  
“Ours was a promise already made.”  
Isak smiled at those words, because it was true. Because he had already decided to like the person that had made the decision to share this journey with him, to not leave him alone. This time, he decided, it was going to be him who made a step forward.  
He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Even's cheek, right above the little moles on his skin. Even's hand went a bit slack in Isak's one, but he smiled: “I wasn't expecting that.”  
“Yeah, I wasn't expecting it either, but we're in Italy now and maybe in Italy I can behave like a different person. Maybe in Italy I'm the one who takes the first step.”  
Even smiled: “Please, don't behave like a different person.”  
“I'll be just a little bit braver.”  
“You are already brave. Look at you: on a plane, kissing your husband, holding my gross sweaty hand. It takes a lot.”  
Even was smiling the brightest smile in the whole world and Isak was simply there, staring directly at it, basking in its light. Deciding to not cover his eyes.

IX

Even left Isak's hand only to fasten his seatbelt before landing. He looked at Rome getting bigger and real as they landed, he looked at the smile on Isak's face and at they way he stretched his muscles when he had to leave his seat. He looked at his slightly annoyed face when the queue wasn't moving and the suitcases weren't coming.  
“You'll have to get used to waste a bit of time, now that we're in Italy.”  
“You're just playing on stereotypes.”  
“I'm not stereotyping! I'm just saying that you can't eat a carbonara in just a few minutes and you can't admire the sunset if you can't wait for the night and that you can't really appreciate a Michelangelo's sculpture if you don't look at it in different lights. These are things you have to savour, not devour.”  
Isak trapped Even's flailing hands in his and brought him closer, staring directly in his eyes: “Okay, poet. Just tell me how you'd want to experience Italy and I'll try to make it happen.”  
“I want to feel deeply and safely in love, like a calm euphoria. I want to remember everything, I want to taste feelings I'll never forget.”  
Even had once again bared his soul with his words, he was all in. He had decided to go all in. Isak just barely smiled.  
Even lowered his gaze, looking at his trapped hands, wondering if it was too much, but then Isak's feet shifted, his hand lifted and his eyes were now on Even's ones. That quiet smile was still on his lips, reassuring. It faltered only when Isak leaned in and kissed Even. The gentlest kiss Even had ever experienced, the fastest one. It was not a proper kiss, it felt like a shadow of a real one, like a promise for more.  
Even smiled back at Isak: “You are a brave one, Isak.”  
It was the first time after the ceremony that he had said his name out loud in front of him. Isak blushed and Even decided to take the situation in his hands. Isak had already done a lot for the both of them. He placed his hand on Isak cheeks and leaned in to fulfill the promise, to end the kiss they had started before.  
It was passionate and it was special. It was in front of a million coloured suitcases at the check out of an airport in the middle of Rome. It was sweaty and tired and Isak was wearing sweatpants and Even's cap fell off of his head. Even was sure that the memory was already rooted in his soul.  
His hands left Isak's cheeks, revealing a light blush. Isak's eyes were once again on the ground and Even's heart filled with something that resembled pride. Something terrifyingly near love.  
He couldn't get the word out of his mind.  
He placed his arm on Isak's shoulder: “Let's find our suitcases.”  
When they finally exited the airport, the sky was starting to darken and Even smiled at the lack of the moon above the horizon. He remembered the anxiety and the excitement of the nights before the weeding.  
“I'm so very glad it's you, Isak.”  
“I'm glad it's you, too, Even.”  
“Maybe it was meant to be.”  
“Nah, I don't believe in fate. I just think that they did some pretty good research.”  
“I also think that, but don't you think that in one way or the other we would have had met? We both know Sana, maybe at her and Yousef's wedding.”  
“They're not even engaged.”  
“Yeah, but we both know that one day it will happen.” Even smiled, he was always smiling. He couldn't help it and didn't want to fight it. He felt on the top of the world.  
“Yeah, okay, but what makes you think that we would have spoken and got to know each other at the wedding?”  
Even stopped in his tracks, halting Isak's steps too. He looked him in the eyes, dead serious: “Have you seen yourself? Of course I would have tried to talk to you. You're like a vision.”  
Isak blushed, but he spoke nonetheless, trying his best to fight their destiny: “What if you already had a boyfriend?” Then he remembered. “Or a girlfriend?”  
“Well...” Even dragged the word. “I would have talked to you nonetheless and then I would have decided if you were worth risking it all.” Looking Isak in the eyes, taking his hands, he said: “As of now, I think you're worth it.”  
Isak smiled, but didn't relent. He teased: “What if I had a boyfriend?”  
Even rolled his eyes: “Well, I would have talked to you, decided that you were worth risking it all, destroyed my heart when I discovered that you already had someone and waited for Sana and Yousef to have a baby and meet you again at the party they surely would have organized for the occasion. All the while hoping that you decided to break up with your boyfriend.”  
Isak smiled and they started to walk again. They picked a taxi and gave the address for their hotel.  
They settled comfortably in the backseats, Even took Isak's hand in his and Isak's rested his head on Even's shoulder. They drove through the streets of Rome and Even was mesmerized by how the life of the buzzing city mixed with the ever-present history, the past. He admired how they could coexist in such a harmonious way.  
“What if the both of us were in a relationship at Sana's wedding?”  
Even lifted his head and groaned: “My God, Isak!” He raised his voice a bit, still smiling, endeared by Isak's logic and his way of thinking. His stubbornness: “I'm telling you it would have worked. In every way, in every possible way. Just trust me, ok? I'm sure of it.”  
“Yeah, but-” Even interrupted him by placing a hand on his mouth.  
“No 'but'. It would have worked, I would have made it work. Do you trust me?”  
Isak nodded, his eyes were twinkling.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I've been really busy with exams (and I'll b again, so sorry if it takes a bit longer to update.)  
> As Always, thanks to everyone who is still following the story  
> <3

10  
So. Isak was stunned, he was mesmerized by the landscape. He had never thought he was like one of those people who gets emotional just looking at a landscape, but here he was, staring out at the distance, leaning on the balcony railing, thinking about getting a tattoo of this place. Even included.  
Yeah, because Even was another kind of masterpiece. He played in another league. Isak couldn't believe that among the night sky, the stars, Rome and the lights at the Colosseum, Even was the only thing that managed to get his eyes to stop roaming. Among all this beauty, Even was the only thing worth more than a second glance.  
Isak had to admit it: he was a material person. It was true, he had entered the show with the right attitude, thinking that feelings and common principles were more reliable than looks as basis to build a relationship. But he was not blind. Hell, he thought Even and him were compatible and he was already half-way in love with him, he came here to risk it all, so he was going to risk everything. He was all in.  
“So!”  
Even looked up at him, from the armchair he was sitting in, sketching the landscape and making notes: “So?”  
“Boundaries.” Isak looked at him with serious eyes. “We have to talk about boundaries.”  
“Okay.” He put his notepad down, slowly, lifting his glasses. And, yes, of course he would look cute in glasses. “Did I do something that upset you? If so I'm sorry. I don't really know what's the protocol here and I think that-”  
“I want to kiss you.” Isak interrupted him, his hand gripping the railing.  
“Oh, my God. Okay.” Even put a hand on his chest. “You scared me. I was having an heart attack!”  
“So you're okay with it?”  
Even stood up, walking his way, barefooted and stunning. There was no other word.  
“Look, Isak. I won't lie to you.” He looked him in the eyes, straight at his soul: “I think you're fucking hot. Okay? That's it, that's the truth and the only reason why I never kissed you is because I thought you needed time. I think I could wait for you for ever, all the time you need.”  
“No, don't wait! Just, I want to kiss you.”  
“So, kiss me. I'm okay with it.”  
Isak stopped for a moment, frozen: “I dare you to kiss me first.”  
Even smiled: “You're shy! This tough man is shy.” Even poked his ribs, Isak rolled his eyes, blushing. “Who thought that under that snapbacks and joggers you could be a softie.”  
“I'm not a softie. I just dared you.” This time it was Isak who poked Even on the chest. “You're just trying to back off of the challenge.”  
“I'm not.”  
“You are.”  
“Okay.” Even shrugged. “I dare you to close your eyes, then.”  
Isak looked at him, he was serious, sincere. He was smiling.  
He closed his eyes: “See, a softie wouldn't accept a challenge.”  
Even chuckled and then his hands were on Isak's cheeks, smoothing the wrinkles of his smile, gently lifting his snapback and combing his curls. Isak smiled again and at that moment Even leaned in, planting a kiss on his cheek. Isak could tell he was smiling too.  
When he placed a kiss on his other cheek Isak could tell he was not smiling anymore, he stopped smiling too, his heart started beating faster in his chest. He drew a breath, the last one before Even's lips found his.  
It was gentle, it was soft.  
“You are a softie.”  
“And you're beautiful, Isak.”  
Isak smiled, eyes still closed, he could feel the meaning of Even's words in his kiss: “So you agree?”  
“Well...”  
Even leaned in and kissed his neck, right under his jaw.  
Isak gasped, his eyes opened.  
Even was laughing.  
“I may be a softie, but you are too. Look at you, all red and shocked.”  
“I was not ready, okay? It's, just, you can't go around biting someone's neck and-”  
“It wasn't a bite, come on. Just a little kiss.”  
“Yeah, but I wasn't ready for it! I thought we were just gonna kiss. Everyone would be surprised if it happened to them.” Isak crossed his arms over his chest. “You would, too.”  
Even was looking at him, eyes full of fondness. He placed a hand on Isak's cheek again: “why don't you try?”  
“Maybe later.” He stuttered. “You know, now you would know what is going to happen.”  
“Well, that's true.”  
“See, I told you.”

X

Even wasn't expecting it, but it did happen.  
After dinner they walked for a bit under the moonlight, hand in hand through the streets of Rome. Isak walked with purpose, like he knew where he was or where he was going. Even followed, for what else could he do? He was falling, falling and hoping that Isak would catch him.  
Isak kissed him. Unexpectedly.  
Leading him to stand against a wall, away from the street lights. He kissed him, properly kissed him. Kissed his neck and bit his ear.  
Even gasped and this time Isak smiled.  
“Told you.” He looked so proud of himself that Even couldn't help but lean in and kiss him again.  
And so they stayed there, against a wall, away from the lights, kissing and spending they're first night in Rome like this. No monuments, no sightseeing or museums, just the two of them, laughing through kisses and smiling under the moon.  
Even felt like an idiot. Yeah, an idiot in love. He could imagine Mikael's voice reply to his thoughts.  
He grabbed Isak's hand and lead the way to the hotel.  
“I did it on purpose.”  
“What?”  
“Kissing you against a wall in Rome.”  
Even was confused: “To show me that I would be surprised too?”  
“No, not for that.” Isak looked at him: “So that you could go around bragging to your movie-lover friends that you kissed where Elio and Oliver kissed. You know, Call me by your name?”  
“And I'll call you by mine.”  
“Yeah, that.” Isak was looking at his shoes, his snapback left behind, on the chair were Even put it for their first kiss.  
“I don't think it was in Rome.”  
“Because you've never read the book, probably.” He winked at Even.  
“No, I didn't. But this way it was not a reenactment of the movie, Einstein. It was just two guys kissing in Rome.”  
Isak smiled: “Is that not enough for you?”  
“Of course it's enough. I just want to let you know that Rome is just the first city we kiss in, we'll kiss in every city. Like a Guinness World Record.”  
“Well, in every city is a bit too much. Just in every capital city?”  
“Yeah, that would do. We conquered Rome, we'll have the world.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm really sorry that it took me so long tu update, but I've been a bit busy during the last month and I had a bit of a rough time, so I had to wait a bit to get in the mood to write again.  
> As always, I really appreciate the support and if you can leave a comment just to let me know what you like, what you don't like or what you'd like to read, it would really help me.  
> I'll try to update more frequently, but I can't promise anything.  
> I'll try my best.  
> <3

11

They were surrounded by art, but that was not the reason why Isak was gaping, looking up at the ceiling and spinning slowly on his heels. He was mesmerized by the time, the effort and the will that a single place could contain.  
They were in the Sistine Chapel and Even's rant about Michelangelo was just background music now. Isak couldn't stop thinking about the fact that millions of people throughout the centuries stood in the same spot as he was standing, taken aback by the art, by the talent and by the commitment. He had never understood the hype that his mom had for the pope and churches, they all looked the same to him, but now.  
Now he was standing right in the middle of one of the most important places on earth, one with a meaning, and he had to admit that he was feeling something. Maybe it wasn't the divine pull that religious people felt, but it certainly was something. Like the feeling of being important, of being part of history, of the world.  
He felt like he was spinning in synch with the earth, like he belonged.  
He was becoming soft, maybe Rome really changed him. Maybe it was Even, with his crinkly smile and blue cap and green notepad. Even with his fun facts about Michelangelo, Isak didn't know it was even possible to know fun facts about a dead artsy dude from centuries ago, but here he was. He smiled at the thought of it: getting interested in art, he didn't think he was capable of it.  
A camera shutter.  
“Come here. Look at yourself.” Even smiled at him.  
Isak was used to it by now, being part of Even's art. He liked the fact that he had become a spark for the fire that was Even's mind, the word passed through his mind once: muse, but he hadn't let himself indulge in the thought. He was not that important, he was not an inspiration. He happened to be there, a prop, just that. No more than the light.  
He liked looking at himself through the lens of Even's eyes, through his heart. He liked how Even always managed to find light in every scene. The day before they had seen a few of Caravaggio's paintings and Isak had immediately connected the scenes to some of Even's photos, not only for the light, but also for the scenes of everyday's life, the ability to find beauty in every person and in every situation. He knew now that beauty could also shine in the darkness.  
He was so grateful for Even that he even thought about praying, but then who would he pray to?  
Instead he kissed his husband. Under the skies of the last judgement and the creation of earth, under vices and virtues and the human nature. Under sins and redemption. They kissed.  
They kissed because it was a thing that they did now. After their walk in the moonlight, two days before, their touches had become less subtle, with more purpose. They had stopped hiding their happiness and had begun to talk about what they really wanted.  
Isak was drunk with joy and he wished he never had to leave Rome.  
“Look at us,” Even smiled “out here defying every rule and common sense. Getting married without even knowing each other, two boys kissing in the most catholic place on this earth. You can't convince me this is not the best place. I mean this is the dream, defying the fucking establishment...”  
“...cursing out loud in holy places like you can't even be bothered under the weight of being in love. Like fucking rebels.”  
Even lowered his camera and raised his eyebrows: “Are you 'in love' with me? Did you just say that you've fallen in love with me?”  
“I didn't say that.” He scoffed and try to get a hold of the camera, but Even lifted it, keeping it out of his reach.  
“Isak Valtersen, I want you to be clear with me now.” Even was staring at him, camera still up in the air, and Isak felt seen, like he was bare, raw. He felt as the only human being in a world full of art, like the chapel had lost his walls and Even and him were left there, standing on a marbled floor in the middle of the globe, under the painted skies that merged with the real ones. And then Even talked again: “Isak, are you falling in love with me the same way as I'm falling in love with you?”  
The world came crashing in, bringing the walls with itself. The chapel was rebuilt in an instant and the protection of art with it.  
“Maybe. Yes.” He finally reached the camera “I'm falling in love with you.”  
The camera snapped.

XI

Even was on the balcony, watching the picture they had taken that day and smiling at the moon. She was still there, watching his cigarette get consumed by the fire.  
He had just finished his phone call with Mikael and was waiting for Isak to come out of the shower. He couldn't believe that this was actually his life now. Mikael had reacted to every single detail Even had given him: from the tiny moments he and Isak shared in the mornings to the teasing, to the Sistine Chapel. Even kept thinking about how life finds always magical ways to surprise people. That quote about how life imitates art kept ringing in his ears, he wasn't quite sure it worked that way. He thought it was the opposite in fact: that nature had wonderful ways to express itself and that humans were mere possibilities in the vastness of time.  
It scared him a bit, but it also gave him hope, as he could be the only one to experience or create a certain thing. Something that no other person could claim as theirs or re-live. It was him and only him, a unique piece, a limited edition.  
Isak came out of the shower: “What are you thinking about?”  
“Oh. Just the fact that I'm the only lucky person in the universe to experience this kind of happiness.”  
Isak smiled: “Are you happy?”  
“Yep.” Even put away the camera and gestured for Isak to sit next to him.  
Isak decided to stand between his legs instead, stroking the hair at the base of his neck. “And do you believe there's only a universe out there?”  
“What do you mean? Isn't it so?”  
“Well, I don't know. Nobody knows, but I believe that there's more than one universe. I believe in the theory of parallel universes, so that, if something that I don't like happens here, I know that somewhere, scattered among the stars, there's a version of me that's still happy.”  
“So... you think that you're not unique. That you're just one of many versions of the same soul?”  
“Well, to say that I should actually believe in souls but I don't know if I believe in them.” Isak smiled.  
Even panicked.  
“Is everything ok?” Isak tried to meet Even's eyes, but he was met with a deep frown. He tried to smooth it out.  
“I don't really like this theory, it makes me believe that I have no choice but to live a life created by chance, by probability. That I have no possibility to create something that's my own.”  
“That's not true. You're still you.”  
“Yes, but are my actions still mine? My feelings?”  
“Of course they are. You just happen to be feeling them in this determined setting, but if it was someone else here, right now, he would be feeling something different.”  
“Yes, I know, but if everything's calculated I am meant to feel this and I am meant to be here and-”  
Isak took Even's hand: “Listen, I'm sorry if I freaked you out and now I'm not able to say something useful to try and calm you down, but just think about it this way: even if my theory was true, and it doesn't have to be true as it is only speculations and late night dreaming. If it is true: we're stuck here, on this planet, in this universe, with each other; so why don't we make the best of it? If we can't choose what actions we'll make, why can't we decide to still live them at the best that we can?” Even finally met his eyes. “If we can't choose the route, we can still decide to enjoy the ride. Right?”  
Even didn't seem fully convinced, but he nodded nonetheless: “Right.”  
“I like my life right now and if this is just a version of it, I think it's the best one out of the set.”  
Even smiled and Isak felt relieved.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm really sorry that I didn't post in a long time, but these last months have been a bit difficult. I hope that someone is still reading and enjoying this story. Let me know if I should keep writing.  
> Love <3

12

“Isak, Isak!”  
Isak woke up to Even kissing his neck and trying not to shout his name. He wasn't a morning person and Even should have known by now. He rolled around and hid his face in the pillow, but Even was stubborn. A trail of kisses started to make its way under Isak's neck and shoulders and further down. The shivers that were running down his spine made him jump out of his tired state: “I'm awake, I'm awake!”  
Even started laughing beside him as Isak tried to catch his breath.  
“It's just 7 in the morning, we're on honeymoon, why did I wake me up?”  
“Because today we choose the route, instead of just enjoying the journey.”   
Even jumped out of bed to reach for his phone, he showed Isak two tickets: Roma-Verona.  
“We're going to see the city of love.”  
“I thought Paris was the city of love.”  
“Well, true, but Verona is Romeo and Juliet's city: we go there, see the balcony, maybe write our name on the walls and then have an ice-cream and head back here. How does it sounds?”  
“Sounds good, it's not like I have anything else to do at 7 in the morning.”  
“Oh, come on, you're already awake.”  
“Yeah...” Isak smiled, “I'll come if you promise me other kisses.”  
Even stood still for a moment and then smiled one of his brightest smiles: “Deal.” he lifted his hand and waited for Isak to shake it, when he did he pulled him in for a kiss, “I can promise more, though.”  
Isak scoffed.

XII

Isak slept all the way to Verona, he missed all the beautiful landscapes and interesting people, so Even decided to capture the majority of them on his camera. He wanted to make a movie out of this journey, like one of those old-school wedding videos.  
He snapped a picture of a sleepy Isak and sent it on the group chat that Mikael had created. He called it “Have you seen these guys?” and had invited every friend of the couple to join it. Even liked the interactions between the two groups: his loud friends, Jonas' quiet support, Sana's burning messages and the girls that never let the chat go silent.  
When they arrived in Verona they immediately headed for a coffee and Isak was delight when he found out how strong his espresso was. They walked through the city, under the shadows of the Arena and beneath Juliet's balcony. Even knew that it was probably fake, but just the idea of a symbol filled him with a fierce hope.  
They stopped at noon to eat and Even picked a lock and a silver marker out of his pocket. Isak looked at him, trying to get an answer. Trying to read his mind.  
Even wrote ISAK+EVEN on one side and then passed it to Isak.  
“What do I have to do?”  
“Write something?”  
Isak rolled his eyes: “Ok, but why?”  
“It's tradition. It's a symbol of undying love, a promise. You write your name on the lock and close it over a bridge or a fence, whatever in this city has more locks on it, and it stays there for ever. As long as it's there, I'll be with you.”  
Even was serious and Isak decided to believe him, to not roll his eyes, to not make fun of it, but to just go along with the plan. In the end he hoped in this promise, too. He took the marker: “I should write the date of our wedding then, so that people can count when they see it. Maybe one day we'll beat a world record.”  
Even smiled: “Maybe.” and it felt like a promise.  
They walked hand in hand for a while, stopping for an ice-cream and kissing away the flavours. When they arrived to a bridge Even smiled, looked at all the locks on the side and said: “I think here's good.”  
Isak nodded and took the lock out of his pocket, he opened it and kept the key, giving the spare one to Even: “Where do I put it?”  
Even was taking pictures of everything: the locks, the sky, the river, Isak and all the names that were shining under the late afternoon sun.  
“I think we should put it on top, like the newest addition.”  
So Isak, sat down and closed the lock around the bridge: their name facing the sky and the date of their wedding, the day they met for the first time, looking down at the water, like a warning for them and for the passing time.   
They stood still for a moment, then Isak got up: “It feels official now, doesn't it?”  
“Yes, it does, but I don't mind.”  
“Me neither.”  
They kissed in the sun until another couple interrupted them. They put their lock right above Isak and Even's one, the girl taking pictures of his husband. At the end they took a step back, admiring their love and the landscape.  
They joined Isak and Even on the other side of the bridge and smiled. Even exchanged congratulations with the girl. After a while he smiled down at Isak, trying to take everything in: every emotion, every gaze, every shade of the evening sun. He looked at the sky, at the couple holding hands beside them, at Isak's fingers intertwined with his own and couldn't help but believe in love and in the future. The shining locks in front of him were proof that they could make and Even believed it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really big thank you to everyone that waited for me and didn't give up on the story. Thanks to the one who keep reading even when I'm unsure if I should continue. Thank you for the kind comments and sweet words you left on the last chapter (and all the other ones, really).   
> Knowing that there's someone out there who likes to read and get a glimpse of what's on my mind is really uplifting and beautiful.   
> So, thank you so much, I hope I won't disappoint with the next chapters and I promise I'll do my best to keep up.  
> I send everyone a lot of love, you're always so kind! :) <3

13 

They got back to the hotel. Isak thought it was a blessing that Even had taken all those pictures while he was asleep during the morning travel, because he hadn't seen a single landscape during the journey back too. He had been too busy staring at Even, kissing him and getting kissed. His hands had been captured by a need to touch, to trace, to get to know and be familiar; he had memorized every curve of Even's neck, every dip of the key he was wearing around his neck. Every single cut on the iron reminded him of the promise, of their names shining bright over the passing water.   
It was all a matter of perspective: the water down low, the past, the birds above, who could get a good look at the future, and their names in between, in the present. They were nothing but themselves now: no past and no promises; they had left them in Norway, in Verona, on the way back to the hotel. They were free and light now, traveling with nothing but purpose on their backs.  
They entered the room, stumbling through travel bags and discarded books, and ended up on the bed. They kissed and kissed for what seemed to be an eternity, then Isak pulled back. Even's hands still flat on his stomach: “I'm all gross, I'll go take a shower and then we can do whatever you like. Ok?”  
Even's expression fell for just a second, but a smile quickly reappeared on his face: “Ok, I'll wait for you.”  
Isak kissed him on the cheek and went to the bathroom without looking back.  
When he finished showering he was welcomed by a smiley Even, a fond expression on his face: “I'll go take a shower, too. Then we can talk or do whatever you like.”  
Even disappeared in the bathroom and Isak felt guilty: it wasn't like he didn't like Even, on the contrary, but he was too scared to let himself go. Everytime he felt his body relax, he found himself spiraling back on his thoughts and he got lost in his head, rabbit pulse and all. He just wanted to find a way to stop thinking, to stop boycotting himself.

XIII

Even came out of the shower and found Isak sat with his back to the wall, crossed legged and with his reading glasses on. He couldn't help but smile, in spite of all the tension that he had felt before he couldn't manage to be disappointed in Isak: he didn't know what the matter was, but he knew far too well what new situations and stressing beginnings could mean. He decided to try to talk to Isak, to not let him close the world outside. After all, years of therapy had given him a bit of advantage.  
He walked to the bed and sat cross-legged in front of Isak.   
“Let's play a game: a truth for a truth. You're in?”  
Isak looked up at him, scrunching his nose to not let the glasses slide down: “What are the rules?”  
“There are no rules: you just say something about the impression I gave you and I say something about you. It has to be the truth, but otherwise there are no rules. Cute, not cute, what I like about you; it doesn't matter.” Isak nodded, thinking it over. “Are you still in?”   
“Yes.”  
“Go, then.”  
“No, I can't just go like that. I have to think it over.”  
“Come on! Do you want to lose?”  
“You've just said that there are no rules!”  
“Yeah, but I didn't say there was not going to be a winner.” Even was grinning.  
“Even!” Isak pushed him, “that's not fair.”  
“Fine, fine, I'll give you some time to think it over. I'll go first.” he took Isak's hand and looked him solemnly in the eyes: “First of all, I have to say that you're really handsome with glasses on and that I like your eyes, even if it took me a bit to figure out what colour they were. I like you in sweatpants, like when I saw you at the airport I couldn't believe my eyes, and I really like your personality. I like the fact that I know you're a good person, because of the friends that you have and that you're intelligent and kind, because you decided to study to become a doctor. And-”  
“Ok, ok, ok. Stop.” Isak squeezed his hands, forcing Even to bring his eyes back to his face from were they had wandered to the ceiling during his speech. “It's my turn now.” He straightened his back and brought Even's hands over his crossed legs, playing with them: “I liked how you looked at me the day of the wedding.” he counted on Even's fingers, “I liked our trip to Verona and how much thought you put in it,” he tapped another finger, “I like your smile and everything about your face and your appearance, because, damn, am I that lucky? I like your passion and the joy you bring with you.” he folded Even's fingers and brought them to his chest, just above his heart. “And I like that you wait, but right now I don't think you have to.”  
He tugged at Even's arm and let their lips collide. They leaned back on the bed and Even tried to keep his weight off of Isak, trying not to cage him in, but Isak pulled him down, a hand on his back and a smile on their lips. He stared up at Even: “I won't stop this time. I don't want to.”  
Even kissed him senseless.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Here's another chapter, sorry for the delay.   
> i hope you like it. :)  
> <3

14  
The next days were spent in a blur. Isak couldn't go back to his thoughts without getting lost in the memories: flashes of lips on skin, the sunset from their balcony, the long walks down the river with their linked hands swaying between them. He loved every moment and had them all catalogued in his mind like snaps from his future.   
The one he cherished the most was Even's smile. He liked how it had remained unchanged, ha was still wearing the one he had the day of the wedding, the one he used when he was on the phone with Mikael or his mother. The one that made Isak feel seen. The one that made Isak fall.  
He had told Even. While they were tangled in a white sea of sheets and covered by the dark of the night, the moon smiling at them through the open windows, he had turned his head and buried his mouth in Even's neck. He didn't want to whisper, he had just wanted to keep his face turned, but the words came out so low that he was afraid he'd had to repeat them. He stopped thinking when he had felt Even's hand move through his curls.  
In the last days he had come to the realization that it didn't matter how soft he spoke or how low his voice was, Even was always listening to him. He paid attention to every detail in a quiet and subtle way: he knew what Isak liked to eat in the morning, what he liked to talk about, he knew to not take his hand when he was nervous and he knew how to kiss him to take his breath away.   
The care he put in every gesture was so subtle that Isak hadn't noticed it a first. It seemed so effortless for Even to care about the people he loved and Isak was mesmerized. He wanted to learn, so he started to study.  
He started talking more to Jonas and Sana, he decided to pay more attention to the text messages in the group chat and send more pictures to his mother. He began to take care of Even in small ways, like bringing him breakfast or waiting for him while he took some pictures, and he discovered he didn't mind. Everything had started feeling more real and he didn't want to go back. He wasn't alone anymore and, contrary to what a lot of his friends would have said, he realized he didn't mind to share his life. It wasn't wasted time if he enjoyed it, even if he hadn't done something productive.  
It wasn't wasted time to stare at Even while he captured Romes's beauty. The long calls he had with Jonas and Sana weren't wasted hours, if he had managed to get even a single smile out of it. The ones he spent with Even weren't wasted nights, he was sure. Every minute spent in bed with him, talking, kissing and sharing secrets was worth all the waiting in the world. Every stuttered breath coming out of his mouth, every laugh, every yawn were worth it: they felt like new beginnings, like promises, like the first brick of a wall.  
They were starting to feel like home.

XIV  
Every time Even carded his fingers through Isak's curls he was submerged by calm, by clarity. He looked at him and it didn't feel like falling, it felt more like diving: when you finally reach the water and everything is quiet under the surface, when you finally open your eyes and everything is covered in pretty colors and you can see the light of the sun fighting its way to the bottom of the sea.   
Every time he kissed Isak he felt like he was coming up for air, like he was slowly ascending to the surface, and when he pulled back and looked into those beautiful, beautiful eyes he felt like he could finally take his first breath. He had built up the courage, he had leaped and looked at the world from underwater, from another point of view. He had another perspective on it and, now, he could finally come back to the surface and bask in the sunlight.  
“Do you believe in sixth senses?”  
Isak raised an eyebrow: “No.”  
“I thought you were going to reply like this.” Even smiled, caressing Isak cheek with his thumb.  
“Why have you asked then?”  
“To know how you keep going. For example, I had a sixth sense that my husband at first sight would be good, so I kept trying, because I thought it was worth it. I felt it, kind of.” he stopped for a moment to smooth the frown on Isak's forehead. “How do you know when you have to keep going or when you can give up?”  
“I believe in the first law of motion: an object in motion stays in motion and an object at rest stays at rest, unless acted upon by a force. It's easier to keep going, when you're already running.”  
“So you never give up?”  
“I give up when the force is too strong.”  
“And right now,” Even asked, moving his thumb under Isak's eye, lifting his gaze to meet his. “is the force too strong?”  
“No,” Isak smiled like he was trying to hide a secret. “but even if one day it will become too strong, I think I found someone stronger. Someone able to convince me to get up again with just a smile.”   
Even believes him. He never cared for science and its reassurances, but he trusts Isak. So, he smiles.  
“There it is.” And their lips met.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I'm ashamed of myself for how much time it took me to update this. I'm really really sorry for making you wait for so long.  
> We're heading to the end of this fic and I'd really like to know what you think about it.  
> As always, thanks to everyone for the comments, the kudos and for waiting this long, hope ypu're still intersted. :)  
> <3

15

“No, Eskild, we're fine. I just need you to go water my plants and leave the house as you found it. No welcome back signs, no confetti and- oh, God, no cats.” Even put an hand on Isak's shoulder to comfort him, but he was still smiling. Isak rolled his eyes.  
“Yes, thank you, Eskild. We'll see you in four days. Bye!” Isak ended abruptly and leaned back in his chair. “So, what's the program for these last three days?”  
Even adjusted his snapback and opened his notebook: “Well, I thought that today we could go see the Coliseum and the Pantheon, tomorrow the centre of the city and buy a few souvenirs for the people back home. The last day we stay in bed a bit longer, go find a good restaurant for lunch and then go to the airport. Sounds good?”  
“Sounds perfect.” Isak smiled, how could he not when Even was basically beaming in front of him? He loved this boy and he knew that this was only a chance among millions, that some strangers had thrown them together and hoped it worked out, but he still felt like it was meant to be, like it was right.  
Maybe it was because of Sana, because they knew each other and this fact made him almost certain that they would have met, one way or the other. It was like they were traveling on parallel lines, constantly grazing each other till they crashed in a tangled loop in the middle of a blank page.   
Maybe it was because he had liked the idea of Even before he had even met him. Maybe it was the thought that this could work out with whoever felt dedicated enough to open their life to a stranger. Maybe it was that thought, paired with the knowledge that very few people out there would have treated him like Even did, making him feel understood and accepted. Making him feel like nothing had to be perfect since the beginning, but that they could work toward that together.  
Maybe it was walking hand in hand with another boy in a city with more history than citizens. Maybe it was standing right out of the Coliseum and kissing in the myriad of people populating this city and their lives.  
Maybe it was knowing that this wasn't a game, but that they had already won.

XV

Even stood right in front of the Coliseum, on a bright spot where the shadows of the arches couldn't reach him. He felt exhausted and exhilarated at the same time.  
He felt so profoundly happy that maybe he was sad. Nostalgic at the idea of the lives that had shared this ground, of all the work that went into this cruel but magnificent building. He thought about all the feet that walked this ground and how the soles of his new Nike wouldn't even leave a dent in it.   
He wondered how tomorrow it wouldn't make a difference if he had actually stood here or not. How everyone forgets, but he always remembers. How he's afraid of forgetting and how he wants Isak to remember.  
He snapped a picture, then two. Then three.  
He didn't have to talk today, Isak was rambling on about medical stuff in ancient Rome. He just had to listen.  
He enjoyed more the sound of Isak's voice than the actual words that came out of his mouth. He felt like he was watching everything through a screen, an oversaturated one.  
After the Coliseum they ate and walked to the Pantheon. Even felt his legs weighing him down, but he couldn't help lifting his head up high till his snapback threatened to fall off of his head.   
The light coming through the roof was a cascade of fire at this time of the day. He managed to take a lot of candid pictures of Isak and he surprised when he didn't even complain.  
At some point, when they were wandering back to their hotel, Isak took his hand and told him that he loved him. Even said it back, like he had already did a dozen times before.   
It was forced out of his throat, but it wasn't a lie, he was sure about his feelings towards Isak. He just wasn't certain about his decisions.  
He should have told him from the beginning, Mikael had warned him. He had always known he was working on borrowed time, always waiting for the shoe to drop, but why couldn't he live an honeymoon like the rest of the couples out there? Why couldn't he have the fairy tale? Why did he always have to have a reliable point of view, cross-checked by different narrators ready to underline his errors in red sharpie?  
He was mad, but, above all, he was tired, so he gripped Isak's hand tighter and let him guide him though the little alleys of Rome, through the feelings in his chest.  
He gripped tightly to his hope and desperation, wishing with all his heart that he hadn't already ruined everything. Hoping that they still had time.  
At the hotel they ate and showered. When Even finally got into his pajamas, Isak was already waiting for him on their bed, concern written all over his face. Even lied down and immediately felt a pair of hands massaging his scalp, unsure fingers trace the features of his face, his lips, his neck. He could fall asleep, but he didn't want to.   
He could feel Isak holding his breath, all tense muscles where Even was lifeless limbs.   
He loved him and he at least deserved an heads up.  
“Isak?”  
“Yeah?” His voice came out to cheery to be genuine. Nervousness working its way to the surface.   
Even felt like he was going to be sick.  
A single tear escaped his eye and Isak tightened his hold on him: “Do you know what bipolar disorder is?”  
“More or less, why?” Even could feel the strain in his voice and in his body, in his hands that were still caressing Even's head and lulling him farther to sleep.  
“Because-” Even took in a shaky breath, his tears had started to fall copiously and stained his voice. He tried to breath in and out. “Because I have it and I think that a depressive episode is coming up.”  
He was exhausted, but relieved. It felt like the words had taken a century to come out of his mouth.  
He was so sad, yet so relieved and Isak's hands in his hair did nothing to help him fight his exhaustion.   
He didn't hear Isak's reply as he drifted in a dreamless sleep, but the hold on his body didn't loose. For now, that was enough.


End file.
